Because i know you rarely check facebook...

this entry is dedicated to a very WONDERFUL friend of mine who just celebrated her birthday :)

how WONDERFUL, you ask?

WONDERFUL enough to rent a car to get to my place (and give me a ride:P) and then help me wash my bathtub when she is the one sleeping over!

BEFORE

AFTER

actually, that is not the real before picture... thats probably 1/2 way through the cleaning. trust me, you are lucky i didnt get a camera quickly enough to document the before.

jenn looking really cute in my bathroom haha.

...and this is after we did my laundry together :)

the next morning, she woke me up after her shower (reminiscent of DWS haha) and then she cooked me french toast! haha... im such a bad host. in my defense, she seemed to enjoy it since she doesnt get to cook that often now. ^^

us eating breakfast in the earllllly morning! ok, it wasnt that early but we stayed up talking until 3:30 haha.

i will endeavor to learn how to make good French toast so that by the time i sleep over at your place after NYTS, i can make it for you! :)

you know you have a true friend when she helps you with domestic chores and does so so cheerfully ^^ i am glad that God has molded our lives so that one day we would meet and be friends. wishing you the best this coming year and looking forward to what God has in store for us in our friendship! :)

i miss you

taken by me july 5 2005 - i slept over after ewr. hehe in this photo, u can see that she insisted on letting me sleep on her mattress while she slept on the floor. also, u can also see my humungous luggage on her dresser threatening to fall onto her at any moment :P - i couldnt believe she didnt have a trashcan in her room (!) so on her bday i gave her one i decorated hehe.

taken by her may 21 2006 - she slept over when she was here for steven and julie's wedding and my birthday. near my head is the purple squishy pillow she gave me :) she had just gotten her first digital camera and took a lot of random pictures (such as the one above). the next day she came w/ me to school and saw my 3rd yr apt and a little bit of westwood (diddy riese!). did not have the chance to cook for her that time but that leaves us something to look forward to one of these days!

Thanksgiving needs to come sooner.

thankful for friends who listen to me complain. thankful for a sister who prays w/ me 1/2 hr each night because i need it.

thankful for food. and termite killing foam. (seriously, that is what it says on the bottle haha).

thankful for my jobs. my favorite one by far is LM. i love the work. (how many people can say that?) i love my boss. (again, how many people can say that? hehe) and the more i work, the more touched i am by the love of all the volunteers. mostly what i do is bug people haha but they are the ones doing the actual work.

thankful for 2 lovely sisters who offered to do manual labor w/ me at work to help me work off some of my hours. its so unimaginable how anyone would be willing to subject themselves to that torture for no reason other than to help me.

thankful for a good weekend and start of the week. altho i'm sad i missed the R.E. teacher's meeting and sisters' fellowship at BP, but i did have a very productive weekend and a very joyful Sabbath! i finished editing EE paper, did my Chinese homework and studied vocab for the coming week, got trained on how to use the TJC website software, studied for GRE, started brainstorming for my Eng paper and did laundry. basically, i didn't waste ANY time AT ALL all weekend ... quite an achievement huh? :)

life is hard and busy. but happy. :) most of all i am thankful that i feel that way.

Being back at home

Now that my one month with God has ended,
I thank God for His providence every step of the way.

First, after one week of RETS, I already was losing my voice and couldn't really sing when Joyce and I were choosing songs for SSC.  I usually lose my voice pretty quickly and especially after NYTS, it's usually gone and takes weeks for it to return to normal.  So at NYTS I really asked God to take care of my voice for me and then went ahead to pray as usual. :) He really was faithful and preserved it for me so I could lead praise session at SSC.

Secondly, for giving me the great, great blessing in the form of my sister. At NYTS, I was just SO proud of her.  During the 2 weeks, she really took a lot on since she didn't have a counselor assigned to her group.  She did her homework (she didn't kno that third years get extensions =S), her sermon, fellowship emcee-ing, and all the team captain responsibilities such as cleaning - all the while taking everything in stride and giving everything to God so that she could keep her calm.. :) I told a bunch of people already but when she graduated at the end, it was so many times more meaningful than her high school graduation. I realize that this is such a blessing because in many families, siblings don't get to spend time serving God together.

Specific instances when I felt super grateful to have my sister:
1. When I could not find my mug at NYTS (which happened a handful of times) I just used hers. :)
2. When I needed a place to take a nap at SSC, I went to her room and slept on her sleeping bag since my room became the J1 classroom during the day.
3. When I had the migraine, she gave me asian candy (also thanks JLo for ur candy!), water, comfort, and offered to help me to type up worksheets for my class.

Third and lastly, I realized during a prayer at SSC that God gave me the opportunity to fulfill the plans in my heart regarding holy work.  Last winter SSC with Group Robe, I made two goals in holy work: to learn how to do A/V and to lead hymn singing.  At NYTS, Daniel taught me how to project slides and Becky asked me to lead the praise sessions for SSC.  Another one was that in my heart I've had the wish that I could help with interpretation.  At RETS, Patri put me as translator for Sis Chou's class.  I didn't even realize it at the time, but I am thankful that He helped me to give what I had desired to do for Him in my heart.  A reoccurring verse this summer:

And in this I give advice: It is to your advantage not only to be doing what you began and were desiring to do a year ago; but now you must complete the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to desire it, so there also may be a completion out of what you have. For if there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what one does not have. - 2 Cor 8:10-12

This summer many of us have made determinations to love Him more, so let us carry out what we readily desired to accomplish for Him. The real test comes now. I think it's easy to serve in the summer because your reap your reward - the satisfaction and joy in the Lord from while surrounded by brothers and sisters from all parts of the nation and world.  But back in our local churches, the work is often unglamorous and requires perseverance.  There's still a lot to do for Him at school and at our local churches. When the excitement dies down and it comes down to giving up our opinions or preferences, can we do it?  Can we continue to serve Him even when what we do seems unnoticed or unappreciated? It seems quite hard to so all we can do is pray to Him to give us clear spiritual eyesight and to help us through our weaknesses.

I experienced at NYTS and SSC that you really gain the most from serving because you get double the amount of it than the students - you get to learn from the students as well as those you are working with - but the heart of willingness is SO important!  If you have that, God can and will add the rest onto you. Of course we still need to do our part to prepare ourselves and to put His work as a priority.  But when you have the desire, God knows and provides for the opportunities to come to you when you are ready without you even seeking.  And it's an honor.  A great honor that none of us can ever deserve.  But that is just how great His love is for us. <3 However, if you lack even that basic heart of willingness to sacrifice for Him, serving can still benefit others but it may cause your own faith to be damaged and result in bitterness. If you are lucky, those hours will just be meaningless and wasted. As we studied in Malachi at NYTS this year, serving God without a willing heart is worse than not serving at all because it really hurts God. 

I pray for God to grant me the strength to spiritually cultivate so that I can do His work now that I have begun working part-time for GA too. :) I'm so thankful to God for providing me with the opportunity at exactly the right time but when the dream is actuated, it's often different from what you may imagine.  I guess it's hard to explain, but although I am still very excited right now, I know that being a faithful worker for church is serving even when the glamor fades.  It is being consistent in seemingly small, mundane things.  It is being disciplined to daily carve out a chunk of what we often consider our "own" time and then give it willingly to God.  One thing I know for sure, it also becomes sweeter and sweeter as you go. And all of the above is how God teaches us what true love is, don't you think? :)

The month has ended and it was wonderful, but thank God that I was not at an extreme high where I would now come crashing down upon return to the world and daily life.  My relationship with God continues so I don't feel sad or empty now that it's over.  My goal is to finish reading the Bible a second time by the end of the school year.  I want to refind my first love for Him by going back to the basics of daily Bible reading and prayer in the morning and putting Him first.  I used to do that my first year in college and that is when I walked everyday to class with His hand in mine.  I, like everyone else, often feel hesitant to make determinations/goals when we have failed in the past.  But I'm putting this on xanga because when school starts I know there'll inevitably be days when I feel unmotivated and weak, I can be reminded of how I yearned to return to Him. Because I know His feelings for me have not changed as He watched me through my college career - I was the one that changed. And I know He has not left my side - I just could not feel Him because I stopped returning His gaze and unceasing attention.

I Think It's Time for an Update ^___^

May 29 - June 4, 2006
English Writers' Retreat - Vancouver, B.C.

So much time has passed since this event but it is one very dear to my heart since it is the one that really helped me to find my passion and calling in serving God.  This year, it took place during 9th week, so I thought "ehh too bad then... there's always next year."  But as soon as I knew I wasn't going to go, I was REALLY sad! I can only go to a total of 4 EWRs during my entire college career and to miss 1 really made me realize just how precious of a blessing it is to attend these seminars.  I asked my mom if i could miss a week of school and she was not too against the idea - yay! :) I told my profs and made sure I would have quizzes and final papers turned in before I left. My English buddies also agreed to take notes for me.  Even though I tried to finish as much as I could before I left, I still had 2 papers to edit for work while I was there at EWR.  Thank God that Sam and Jenn really helped me out a lot on those! 

Vancouver is a beautiful city. 

What makes it memorable, however, is definitely the people.

*the table for EWR participants at Linda and Jason's wedding banquet
*our walks together after lunch
*baking during samples discussion at Cleveland Dam, then freezing while working at the Salmon Hatchery
*washing dishes together - "okay captain"
*sharing snacks (LOTS of them!)
*the "how I found my significant other" stories
*asking each other the synonyms and tenses of random words
*super nice gifts from Vancouver church for the instructors and participants
*singing together duirng the fellowship - game and "Your pen"
*tour of Downtown Vancouver and Stanley Park with Vancouver youths

Wherever you go in the world, the brothers and sisters provide the warmth. 

EWR returnees! :)

Angela (pronounced with Spanish accent) - fellow English major and just all around adorable haha.

I'm glad that this year there is more promotion before the event and awareness is growing for the great need in Literary Ministry. Even if you don't think it's your forte, you can always try it once. ^^  The atmosphere of the retreat itself is always light (ok, leaning towards silly :P). God will provide the inspiration and help you along the way if you provide the willingness. If you discover that it really isn't your area, time spent with God is never wasted. It's still a great experience that brings you one step closer to finding your calling in God's service and you meet many wonderful and dedicated youths from all over the (English-speaking) world.  Personally, it always helps to sharpen my spiritual eyesight.

Until we meet again, my friends, until we meet again... may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

I miss all of you!

July 2-8, 2006
Religious Education Teachers' Seminar - Irvine, CA 

Second time around was really different. But it was definitely much needed to remind myself the life purpose of an R.E. teacher. 

I spent the week praying for childhood buddies in church that I grew up with. Although we may not see results immediately, God does truly listen to all those prayers.  With each of the ones I prayed for, I saw the evidence of this at NYTS.  We just need to have faith that He will answer our prayers when it is the right time. 

yay! :) UCLA <3

awww I loved our room! :) they made being room captain really easy cuz they were really good about getting into the room on time.

haha every nite we had a competition with julie's room to see if we could get the lights off earlier. we always won. :D but then again, her room didn't even kno about the competition. teeheehee. ^^

supposedly i am their "face connector" :P

July 22 - August 6, 2006
National Youth Theological Seminar - Baldwin Park, CA

My first time being a counselor.  So many reflections but basically summed up in one sentence it would be: In trying to help others, you get back what in put in manyfold. 

I learned a lot from my fellow counselors. Sis Chou really has an unfathomable amount of love.  I can't express how much I appreciate her prayers for me.  From Sandra I learned the meaning of humility. She was my comfort and just SUCH a great help. Joyce was also always willing to share the load and from her I learned the spirit of prayer. From Pat, I learned submission to God's will - from what I have seen of her servitude at NYTS and Queens as well as what she testified to me while we brushed our teeth at night. From Daniel I learned how useful you can be when you serve with all your talents - translating, encouraging, a/v.

Ness captured a picture of us swamped with grading during the photo frenzy after fellowship. Thanks Joyce for offering to help! :D

I learned a lot from the participants and their zeal to change their lives to please God.  I am thankful to God as well as the students for opening up and sharing with me.  It was really an honor to read what they wrote in their reflections. 

Here are some that really touched me:

These two weeks made me want to live a life of prayer and reminded me of what the true treasures in life are. - D. Tsui

I took His blessings without thanks and relied on Him only in my need - as if He was a tool to solve my problems.  I believe the most important thing that I learned at my first NYTS is that God feels. - P. Chang

I did bring a lot of burdens to this NYTS, but I am happy that after those prayers I could lay aside the burdens and pray only for God's presence. - J. Wu

I've not felt lonely once - as soon as we all pray together in one accord my heart is full.  On the fellowship side I have enjoyed praying for my brothers and sisters in the U.S.  I've made some wonderful spiritual friends and I hope we can work for the Lord together in the future especially as regards African Ministry and Literary Ministry. - A. Liew

This period may be my training period, but I realized that in many ways, it is more important than actual servitude.  During this time, I have to build up my faith to the point when I will finally be ready to "give of my best to my master."  In everything I do, I hope to please God, and I hope that my church work will be like a grain offering with a pleasing aroma and satisfying to the Lord. - P. Chen

I felt that at this NYTS I've learned so much, and I've actually felt that I've been touched by the hands of God, and I've never felt so loved like this before. - J. Lee

I don't know what God's plan for me in this life is, but I know He has a plan.  And whatever happens, I will gladly follow Him, because His path is the only path.  May God continue to guide me with His Holy Spirit so I will always remain true to Him. - G. Tseng

In that one prayer, I felt really minute and that God was putting His hand around me.  Embracing me.  It seemed like God was clasping His hands in a circle, as if protecting something dearly and I was in the midst of it.  That moment, within God's hand, I was untouchable.  Just like the verse in Zech 2:8 - "He who touches you touches the apple of His eye"... Whoever attempts to touch us attempts to touch the apple of God's eye.  God would never allow it.  Whenever we feel small or down and out, we should think of how precious we are in God's sight. - W. Lam 

May I never lose sight of His wonder and beauty as He guides me through another year.  "I am weak but thou art strong."  Let me hang onto you God so I can safely pass another year. - C. Li

REUNIONS:

Hehe 2 EWRs, 1 DWS and 1 NYTS later and we love each other more than ever. :) How we've both changed over these 3 years, but for the better I think :D I am thankful to God for bringing us together and giving me a spiritual friend that I can grow with!  

Awww. EWR 2006! <3

RETS Music Practicum group (minus Marian). "Rejoice! Rejoice! Again I say rejoice!"

Queens RETS-ers :)

the torontians! :)

ewr 2005 and toronto travel companion

1 of 2 returning Group G-ers from last year's nyts team.

So proud of my sister, the graduate!

Looking forward to seeing all of you next year at Hillsborough!  So excited already!! :)

August 6-12, 2006
Doctrinal Writing Seminar - Pacifica, CA

Being the scatterbrained person I am, when we were rushing to depart from NYTS, I forgot my laptop at BP. x__X yeah... thank God for Gregory and Serena's dad was there and lent me Greg's laptop until Chantel and Tiff brought mine up for me! :D 

Thanks to Sam and Jason for driving the >6 hrs up to Pacifica church. 

The drive up from NYTS was super fun!  We talked and played Bible guessing games ("Eliphaz" and "threshing floor"... oh boy) and laughed and shared testimonies. :)

It was a treat. It really was.  Haven't been that restful and peacefully content in a long time. And it's definitely been a really REALLY long time since I've laughed that hard.

supposed to be sleepy pose but no one could stop laughing. only stephen was ready haha

animal poses haha.

happy happy happy group with pastor ko :) we worked hard and played hard hehe.

Physically, I slept well every night and enjoyed our after-lunch walks on the beach or in the neighborhood. I had good prayers in every one of our prayer sessions.  The classes on water baptism were so interesting and informative (really helped me to get a solid understanding of exactly why we believe what we do) that I just wanted to drink in more everyday. I was around people who had the same desire to serve God and could talk all the time with them about spiritual matters.

Everyday Pastor Ko made a huge pitcher of African tea (yum) for us.  He is so sweet and humble. And at the end of the week, Anessa taught me how to bake scones. (Email me the recipe so I can try to make them on my own. I'll let you know how they turned out haha :P)

animal faces of the whole group :D (i like how jason's is just self-bunny ears haha)

At the end, I was able to say farewell to my best friend before she left for Taiwan.  With her went a very large chunk of my heart. I am thankful to God for His arrangement so that even though we couldn't go to YTTC together this year as planned, we got to serve together at NYTS and then to spend a wonderful week together at DWS. I might as well address this to you cuz I know you're reading this (har har). After Sabbath service on Sat, my eyes were continually filling as I walked out of the chapel with the thought that you were leaving me. This is selfish because I know why you are going and as always, I support you all the way!!! Just as when we were there, I will continue to "jump up and down for you because I know you are jumping up and down inside."  I'm happy to see you so happy because you totally deserve it. :) And as you know, that one prayer where I cried so hard, I was praying for you and begging God to protect you.  I know He will protect you and by doing so, He protects my heart too. Through the years, He has shown that as we run toward Him with all our might, we also run toward each other. 

"Goodbye"s have been hard for me ever since you moved but at the same time it makes our "hello"s so much more joyful!  I am comforted in the fact that I can send you an email with 2 sentences w/o explanation and you already know my heart.  The knowledge that you will get down on your knees to offer a prayer for me at those times brings tears to my eyes even now as I think about it.  I am lucky to have met you and have you in my life. I am lucky to have a spiritual friend and I am lucky that that spiritual friend is you. The spiritual realm transcends time and space so wherever you go, remember that my thoughts and prayers are with you! As you have wisely said before, it'll be "a blink of an eye" before we see each other again and I'm looking forward to being able to carry conversations in Mandarin on that day! (Maybe Taiwanese too?) ^^

August 13-18, 2006
Student Spiritual Convocation - Garden Grove, CA

Migraine strikes. Lasts two days. It was hard. Even though the kids are SO adorable and I usually love them to death, with the migraine, their words and actions grated on me so much.  Marks the first time that I have done His work with and through the pain.  Although I did terribly, as I could tell from the face of the schedule coordinator, it's okay.  It's my first time and I'm sure I made many mistakes, but I tried my best :)  It was also my first time using powerpoint! yay! (thanks Joyce for teaching me how to at DWS! :D) He truly humbled me the day that I was most stripped of my abilities and I looked up to see so many sisters were touched to tears by the hymns.  Also, during BP SC, Alice told me (w/o realizing that I led a praise session) that Anna didn't used to like singing hymns but she keeps on singing the SSC songs over and over again at home and even tries to teach them to her.  Really let me know that I can water all I want but God makes it grow.  Or I can hardly water at all and He can make it grow anyway. :)

I was so touched by the love of the students: I got so many random "how is your headache?" from all the students.  Good way for me to meet a lot of them. :P I also got a lovely colored drawing of "Migraine cookies" and underneath, "Get well soon, Louis." 

Also the other counselors really offered me a lot of support.  Obviously, Kelly offered her strength and encourage/ gently push me to still go up there and rely totally on God.  I'm so glad I did because that's when I saw God's miracle and power.  Sometimes in the holy work, you only see the very visible people.  But behind them, are many people who are just as vital to the work though unseen by the public.  I hope I can be more like her and to help in that often very difficult job of supporting other people.  I'm glad she will be at UCLA this year so we can continue to serve together.  Thank God for Daniel who made us take a mandatory nap before the students arrived on Sunday.  And in the middle of the week, Daniel and Raymond made me take a nap.  Thank God that they are loving brothers that try to be aware of others' needs! :)

Hatsue gives such awesome massages!! Thank you for being such a sweetie :D

Here's another one of my girls who always brings such happiness to others :)

:D

Ebony and Brandon received the Holy Spirit this time. :D Yay! Looking forward to seeing LaKeyshia at Winter SSC :D In total, 17 students received the Holy Spirit! :)  How can that not make anyone happy? :)

I remember one night after a sharing with all the J2 girls, I was filled with a feeling of peace and complete happiness.  To witness first-hand God breaking down their barriers and to see the slight albeit noticeable changes in their behavior filled me with awe. That night, as I lay in my sleeping bag, I honestly told God that there's no place I'd rather be at that moment. I felt that one night at NYTS too after some of the girls in my room had opened up to me.  Those are the moments that make it all worthwhile.  :)